 Sometimes we push so hard—toward excellence, toward growth, toward getting it “right”—because we’ve been taught that pressure is the only path forward. That perfection is the goal. That holding it all together is the only way to succeed.
And in that hustle, we lose track of why we started. Like a business. The grind culture we live in—patriarchal, capitalist, white supremacist—is loud. Its messages sneak in even when we don’t consciously believe them. Even when we know better. And still, they shape how we measure our worth. How we hold ourselves. How we move. Sometimes we push so hard, we forget what it feels like to flow. We forget to soften. And then we beat ourselves up for not practicing the very things we preach. We share words about rest, embodiment, and letting go—while gripping tightly to the edges of our own unraveling. I say we because I know I’m not alone. But right now, I’m writing about me. I’m reminding myself: It’s okay to cry. To break down. To not know. To ask for help—and to receive it. To remember. To imagine. To shift, change, and course-correct. I have to give myself that permission. Because if I can’t soften into a new way of being, how can I expect anyone to trust me to hold space for them to do the same? I don’t lead because I have it all figured out. I lead because I’m walking this path with the people I serve. I teach, facilitate, and create—not from a place of mastery, but from a place of humility, practice, and love. Still, I carry the exhaustion. The ache. The self-doubt. The old stories. The trauma. I tuck it down instead of letting it rise, breathe, and move through me. I push forward when I most need to pause. I strive hardest when I’m nearing burnout. I cling to the vision when I should be leaning into support. But here’s the truth I’m learning: In building Spiral Studio, I’ve also built a space for myself. A community that lifts me up while holding me accountable. A container for healing that includes me. This space reminds me to practice what I offer. To receive what I so freely give. To stop just holding it all—and be held. Because yes, I created Spiral Studio to serve others. But I also created it for myself. I’m part of this community. And I deserve to be nourished by it, too. So, as I continue to do the work, here’s your invitation: Take a breath. Loosen your grip. Let something soften. You don’t have to earn your rest. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to begin—right where you are. ✨ Come as you are. Be real. Be rooted. Move—and be moved.
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 In my book, Demystifying American Yoga: Embodied Movement for Individual and Collective Transformation, I explore what it means to practice Queer Yoga—powerful, heart-led movement and breath rooted in visibility, healing, and resistance.
One of my greatest influences is Jacoby Ballard, author of A Queer Dharma: Yoga and Meditations for Liberation. Ballard writes, “Society is constantly telling queer and trans people that we shouldn’t exist, through overt and subversive forms of oppression.” That messaging doesn’t just live in the headlines—it settles into our bodies. Even here in Bangor, where we’re held by a supportive community, we’re not untouched by the cultural forces that attempt to shrink or silence queer and trans expression. Queer Yoga offers something radically different: a space to come home to your body, your truth, and your joy. What Is Queer Yoga, Really? There’s no single definition--and that’s the point. Queer Yoga, as I teach it, is infused with my own lived experience: my identity, the symbols and stories that resonate with me, the femme power that grounds my movement. Every Queer Yoga teacher brings their own fire, but at its heart, Queer Yoga is:
Why Trauma-Informed Yoga Matters Ballard reminds us, “Trauma lives in the body, and through embodiment practices those stories can be unlocked.” Queer, trans, and non-binary folks often carry layers of trauma—from rejection, from systemic harm, from the daily micro-injuries of living in a world that wasn't built for us. We don’t just need affirming ideas—we need embodied practices that help us shake loose what’s been held too long. Movement is how we transmute pain into power. It’s how we break cycles of harm, not just in society, but within our own nervous systems. Activism, art, and education are essential. But if we’re not healing the body? We’re leaving part of ourselves behind. The Power of Queer Embodiment As Ballard puts it, yoga connects us to “our growth, pain, and resilience.” It’s a spiral inward and outward—a path that helps us release shame, soften our shields, and reconnect with our human capacity to thrive. Queer Yoga isn’t a performance. It’s a reclamation. Of gender. Of community. Of pleasure, rage, softness, strength. Of the full spectrum of who we are. That’s what we practice at Spiral Studio. Why Femme? Why Now? My class weaves Ballard’s wisdom with a deep celebration of the femme side of the queer spectrum—because that’s where I’ve found my deepest healing. Through the work of building the Spiral Goddess Collective, I’ve learned to honor my softness, my fluidity, my intuitive knowing. This practice is rooted in what author Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore calls “the radical potential to choose one’s gender and one’s sexual and social identities... to create a culture on our terms.” That’s the culture we’re creating at Spiral Studio. A space for authenticity. For courage. For coming home to yourself. Pride at Spiral Studio Join us in celebration, in movement, in community. This Pride season, we’re holding space for all the layers of what it means to be queer—grief and joy, rage and softness, pride and power. 🌀 Queer Yoga — May 22, 7:00–8:15 PM A healing and affirming space for movement, stillness, expression, and connection. 🌀 Generations of Pride Dance & Fundraiser for Bangor Pride — May 31, 7:00–9:00 PM Dance, release, and raise funds for queer joy and community power. 🌀 Bangor Pride Festival — June 29 Visit us at our Spiral Studio table or come to our studio space on the 4th floor of 16 State Street for a quiet, welcoming refuge. Come as you are. Move as you need. Be held, seen, and celebrated. This is Queer Yoga. This is Spiral Studio. This is liberation in motion. |
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August 2025
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